Posts Tagged ‘Tigers’

Husky Predictions From a Cougar Fan

September 18, 2009

wootERS

Just a week removed from giving up close to 500 yards of total offense to mighty Idaho Vandals, the huskies have the good fortune of facing a should-be division 1-AA team from southern California. The predictions that follow are basically fact, as my 6th sense is the ability to accurately predict husky football outcomes. The substantially less talented huskies will jump out to a quick 7-0 lead, and in a moment of pure coaching genius, coach Sarkisian will attempt an onside kick on the ensuing and recover the ball. With all the USC fans in the house stunned, Jake Locker steps under center ready to hopefully lead the huskies down field for his second touchdown of the day…..Suddenly, the zookeeper who had been using a magnetic force-field to hold back the 7 grizzly bears and 9 tigers he had been neglecting to feed for the last few weeks on the husky sideline dropped his force-field remote, releasing the 16 savage beasts….Have I mentioned that Jake Locker was wearing steak flavored football pants?….no? Well, Jake Locker, in a moment of pre-game poor judgment, went with the steak flavored pants to try and fire up his offensive linemen. With the blood thirsty woodland creatures free to feast and having eyes only for the man in the steak flavored pants, I don’t need to describe what happens next….but I probably should…..Jake takes the snap and notices one of the larger, more rabies-infested bears tearing towards him….he attempts to throw the football at the bear but over throws it by a good 15 yards leaving himself defenseless……and now armless as well. That’s when the rest of the bears and tigers get in on the feast…. Tragic, just tragic…..So, after cleaning up the carnage, the Trojans, who really, Jake Locker or not, will go on to score 112 unanswered points leading to our final score prediction! USC 112 – UW 7.

……..and a nice little treat for the Cougar fans:

SPACE KABOOM!

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