Posts Tagged ‘Huskaroos’

Husky Predictions From a Cougar Fan

September 25, 2009

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Well crap, I guess even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once and a while…stupid huskies….and thank the Lord that the blind, deaf, dumb, swine-flu-infected, product-of-incest squirrel that is the Washington State Cougar football team also managed to scare up a little meal. Since I am so devastated about the inaccuracy of my husky football team prediction from last weekend, I have decided to instead predict what this Saturday will look like for Husky (as in God’s full-figured little earth angels) people. These Huskies will wake up early, covered in post late-night Wendys garbage and feeling deeply saddened, but ready to make a change. They will have been stress-testing the fence that lies between fat and in-shape for far too long….. “TO THE GYM!!!!!” the Husky guy/girl will announce. Arriving at the gym in too-tight yoga clothes (girl)/a sleeveless muscle tee with a food stain on it (guy), they will head straight for the smoothie bar to grab a pre-workout drink. 45 minutes and 400 calories later, it’s “time to get their sweat on”…technically the walk to the car earlier lit that candle, but hey – nobody’s keeping track of these things. A nice 10 minutes on the treadmill for him/15 fart-filled minutes in hot yoga for her and confidence will be rising….”I could do this every day!”….rigggghhhhhtttt. Time for weight machines (free weights are hard on your joints right?) – 20 minutes lifting to the sweet, sweet sounds of Nickelback (him)/Beyonce (her…..oh, this leg extension is going to make someone want to “put a ring on it” NOW). Feeling strong, lean, and mean, it will be time for him/her to head home via the long route so as to avoid the Wendys drive thru…. good idea husky guy/gal….. a left on 32nd street and then home free! Oh CRAP……When did they put in that Taco Bell?! They are building NEW Taco Bells? Oh God…..must…..run…..for……border……..”Welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order?” 

 Thus, in not-fat-but-not-skinny Purgatory he/she will remain. Fast Food Deliciousness-1 Husky Guy/Girl-0……..also UW-33 Stanford-28.

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