Posts Tagged ‘Go COugs’

All hail PIRATE LEACH!!!

February 1, 2012

Oh Hai! I’m fresh off my monthly va-jazzling, but there’s no doubt it has been a while. Do you care? Of course you do, no doi. And so, I am here to announce STUFFANDTHINGS is back!! Thanks for being patient, and though I know only my Grammy and Pops care, you should know that there has been a major relocation of our HOMEBASE..and by HOMEBASE I mean the laptop on which I type right now. It has traveled far, without permission, and sometimes I think it might strangle me in my sleep….. but that’s so super ridiculous – if anyone strangles me it will be my loser wife. So here we are, outside Orlando…but I promise I still have perspective on Seattle sports! Well, at least as much as the half-ass fans that live there..BA-ZING!!!!! Go Sounders right??? They are the best! Kicking and passing and shit…. you’re all total fucks. Yup. We’re back.

You’re welcome.

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Upset Alert: Cougars Refuse To Poop All Over Themselves vs. USC

September 27, 2009

Save_Gas_Ride_A_Cougar-2T

Last night, I was conversing with a fellow Coug as a never-in-doubt loss to USC had us excited because, despite not winning, we weren’t being taken to the woodshed. He made a very insightful observation into the mind-frame of Cougar football fans; he said “the thing about Cougar fans is that no matter how bad we are, we can always find something to get excited about.” I found this to be an incredibly astute statement, and then spent the next 10 minutes analyzing my own attitude – my joy over holding USC scoreless for two quarters and only allowing seven points over three quarters was the kind of joy most fans only show in a blow-out victory or an upset over a ranked opponent……not to say I wouldn’t love to have beaten USC at home and really exposed a far-less-talented-than-usual trojan squad, but when you’ve been blown out by Hawaii and needed an overtime field goal to beat SMU, you set your expectations nice and low. And, for just a few minutes, the future looked incredibly bright with true freshman QB Jeff Teul throwing the ball all over the trojan defense….mostly to his favorite target, true freshman receiver Gino Simone. All in all, a loss is a loss, and did they look terrible at times…..but those small amounts of hope shone brightly in the minds of cougar fans, and THAT is what separates the Cougs from the rest….eternal hope and self-deprecating pessimism…not quite sure how those two co-exist….but it is what it is.

Husky Predictions From a Cougar Fan

September 18, 2009

wootERS

Just a week removed from giving up close to 500 yards of total offense to mighty Idaho Vandals, the huskies have the good fortune of facing a should-be division 1-AA team from southern California. The predictions that follow are basically fact, as my 6th sense is the ability to accurately predict husky football outcomes. The substantially less talented huskies will jump out to a quick 7-0 lead, and in a moment of pure coaching genius, coach Sarkisian will attempt an onside kick on the ensuing and recover the ball. With all the USC fans in the house stunned, Jake Locker steps under center ready to hopefully lead the huskies down field for his second touchdown of the day…..Suddenly, the zookeeper who had been using a magnetic force-field to hold back the 7 grizzly bears and 9 tigers he had been neglecting to feed for the last few weeks on the husky sideline dropped his force-field remote, releasing the 16 savage beasts….Have I mentioned that Jake Locker was wearing steak flavored football pants?….no? Well, Jake Locker, in a moment of pre-game poor judgment, went with the steak flavored pants to try and fire up his offensive linemen. With the blood thirsty woodland creatures free to feast and having eyes only for the man in the steak flavored pants, I don’t need to describe what happens next….but I probably should…..Jake takes the snap and notices one of the larger, more rabies-infested bears tearing towards him….he attempts to throw the football at the bear but over throws it by a good 15 yards leaving himself defenseless……and now armless as well. That’s when the rest of the bears and tigers get in on the feast…. Tragic, just tragic…..So, after cleaning up the carnage, the Trojans, who really, Jake Locker or not, will go on to score 112 unanswered points leading to our final score prediction! USC 112 – UW 7.

……..and a nice little treat for the Cougar fans:

SPACE KABOOM!

Happy Almost Apple Cup!

November 20, 2008

satan1

So, we have taken the time to archive all the posts from the last few months and if you missed them…..so your own fault. Since we have totally been posting everyday it is going to be so easy to get back into……I mean, stay in a rhythm. As we all know the last few months have been full of appallingly depressing sports moments involving our beloved sports franchises and college (take note of the singular “college”). While most in the greater Seattle area are lamenting all the things that have gone and are going wrong in every facet of local sports, there are some, namely me, who have been able to find a silver lining in this mess we call “local athletic activities and events”. In times such as these one ought not to throw stones, but to make an omelet you gotta break some eggs right (feel free to sprinkle in some other non-related clichés if you want)? Of course, the one small oasis in this desolate dessert we call home is the multi-sport futility of satan’s Alma matter, the university of washington (No Capitalization for you!). Sure, my beloved Cougs have shared a similar fate football wise with only one win this season against division 1-AA Portland State (a win is a win), but the Huskies, as of today, are winless in football, have already dropped their hoops season opener to the mighty Pilots of Portland and barely survived a second half meltdown against perennial powerhouse Cleveland State. At a time when everything else is going wrong you have to take time and smell some roses…whatever that means. Sure the fear of being known as the worst team in college football history looms heavily across this great Cougar nation of ours, but the possibility of keeping the huskies winless this weekend brings great hope and merriment to all WSU supporters (which should really be everyone, but people are inherently stupid and somehow missed that boat to Awesometown and/or Smartsville). Of course, just in case Saturday does not go as planned, Cougars 2 huskies 0, I will have my “we are a basketball school now” line in my holster, ready to draw.

Mr. Magic Times Clever Rainbow Joke Parade Emporium….Umm What?

August 29, 2008

                         

                          It’s finally that time of year where long after our baseball team has had any chance of making the playoffs (early June) that we all settle in for the whirlwind of adventure that is College Football. Once again the Mighty Cougars of Washington State, as of today, are undefeated and I don’t see that changing before Friday. The entire sports media is abuzz over the 0-0 Cougs who have been ranked as high as 76th! in the preseason. Now unless I am misunderstanding the concept of “abuzz,” hopes are high and expectations are even higher for the Palouse Warriors.  A stellar off season that saw Lee Corso’s BFF, Kirk Herbstreit , declare Brandon Gibson his #2 receiver in the nation also saw Defensive Tackle Andy Roof expelled from school (which is actually incredibly difficult considering it is WAZZU) and field general Gary Rogers heroically saying players should put school on the back burner and concentrate on football. I see nothing wrong with that statement but methinks some academic types may take issue with one of their high profile student\athletes downplaying the importance of the student part…….Nerds. So with hopes high and a nickel in my pocket it is time for me to change from unbiased lover of sports to tunnel-visioned Cougar fan lunatic……. So I guess this is goodbye until December. That is unless we make a BCS Bowl game……which is pretty much a lock….at which point there will be limited, and I stress the limited part, LIMTIED non-cougar talk until the end of January as I have to allow myself at least a month to bask in the inevitable national championship glory I will most certainly be soaking in. Seriously though check stuffandthingsblog.wordpress.com often as we here at Stuff and Things are ramping up for a nice little run at being somewhat consistent with our postings……Go Cougs.