Lucky You!



Who wants some high school football coverage? Silence=Yes. Featured on ESPNU tonight will be the matchup of perennial California powerhouse Oaks Christian and local area high school Skyline. Both teams boast a fancy pants roster full of D-1 recruits and sons of famous people. With the fruit of their loins on the field tonight for Oaks Christian, Wayne Gretzky, Joe Montana, and Will Smith will be in attendance. The often forgotten Hollywood Heir is, however, on the Skyline side depth chart in 6-7 350 lb Lyla Goodman-Foot, daughter of A-list superstar John Goodman and legendary and constantly blurry Big Foot…….(I like my Big Foot to have a more human quality to him and he also has a curious little raccoon for a best friend)…….But the real drama in this game exists in where the game is to be played. The smart lads over in Bristol have decided to forgo copious amounts of cash in favor of a better “high school experience”……So of course I assumed both teams would be meeting in my parents basement to scheme on what party to try to go to only to become insanely lazy and play NFL Blitz on N64 all night…Turns out they are playing the game over at Skyline High School! BOOO that’s not the high school experience….I didn’t even go there. Clearly ESPN is out to take care of the little guy….they aren’t a part of a greedy, power hungry corporation destined to break the earth from it’s axis and send us spinning into the sun.

Dear ESPN,


All my love,

               The little guy


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