In case you haven’t noticed, this is taking forever. We have had some fun, Oil Can made the internet angry, and Double LL torched the impossible to pronounce Cubs line-up card. It’ sad, but its time to be done with baseball previews as most teams have already played at least 7 games. So we are going with a new format just to crush what’s left and get back to our modus operandi as soon as possible. This will be the last of the “Why They Are Going To Suck” individual team previews….which will be a breath of fresh air to some….and to others the foul stench of a Jackelliotsmustache Special Down Home Cooked Dutch oven. It doesn’t matter which side you choose because here come the “Standard Division Race Previews For the Ones We Couldn’t Finish in Time” previews.
With a tear and a song here is the final “Why They Are Going to Suck – Pirates Edition. It’s funny, this should be the easiest one to write of the whole lot…save the Marlins….but with the sites vision fully focused on the future and a noon trip to Safeco on my mind my mind grapes are not producing the juices I had hoped they would…..but that’s half the fun right? When in doubt turn to YouTube…..I wish I could credit the artist on this but without further ado…here is why they will suck thanks to the musical stylings of this dude.
Final Prediction: The Pirates will be dead last based on ZERO power in their lineup and a total lack of a veteran presence on the team….Jack Wilson is the oldest player on the team at 30 and one of the saddest stories in baseball…..a Pirates lifer….man that sucks . They have decent 1 and 2 starters but after that the drop off is astronomical and continues all the way through their depressingly awful (even to non pirates fans) bullpen. 63-99…which will be good enough for the worst record in all of baseball…..Have fun Pittsburgh….Jerks