Why They Are Going to Suck – Yankees Edition

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This year the Yankees have all the hallmarks of collapsing under the weight of their $200 million+ payroll.  Let’s just count the ways they are going to fall on their face this season, shall we?  I don’t really want to talk about A-Rod, but it’s hard to ignore him.  From his steroid use (in the robotic interview where he confessed, he claims to have only taken them during the 2001-2003 seasons…umm, sure…), to his crazy narcisism arodkiss(just look at the photo shoot from Details magazine), to his dating a “madame”  (apparently, he actually dated a female pimp for about a year) and his current injury issues (he’s expected to miss about a month of the season), he’s just a walking whirlwind of bad PR.  And that is just the stuff that has come out in the last two months.  You don’t think that’s going affect his teammates?  I would beg to differ.  Fun Fact: Alex is hitting .271  with 7 homeruns and 17 RBI in 147 postseason at bats.  He’s not terrible, Yankees fans.  You might want to lay off him a little.  He’s going through a tough time right now and could really use your support. 

Next, let’s talk about the Yankees big free-agent signings.  First, Mark Texieria.  Can you say overrated?  They brought Mark in to replace Jason Giambi at first base.   Jason, along with his truely awesome ‘stache, has left for a team that obviously has the resources to pay him what he’s worth: the Oakland A’s.  I’m not sure how the Yankees expect Mark to replace him, especially defensively.  Jason is just a vaccum at first base; nothing could get by that guy.  Mark has some big shoes to fill.  Next is CC Sabathia; there’s absolutely no way he doesn’t get hurt.  In the last 2 years, including the playoffs, he’s thrown 513 innings.  ccsabathiaListed at 290 pounds (yeah right, at this point he’s probably more like 340), it’s amazing he can even walk around, let alone pitch while carrying that child.   His arm has got to be about ready to give out; that or his knees, or his heart.  Last we have AJ Burnett. There is a reason he’s last: he’s a whiney crybaby who will have no effect on the Yankees’ chances this season.  First of all, he will probably get hurt; he’s been on the DL ten times in his nine-year career.  And if he doesn’t get hurt, he won’t be able to handle the presure of pitching in New York.  He’s this year’s Sidney Ponson, only at 13.2 times the price.

On top of all that, the Yankees are opening a new stadium this season, where ticket prices are just astronomical.  $26,000 per seat for season tickets?  Good luck in this economy.  And they still have Hank “Seriously, He’s Crazy” Steinbrenner running the show.  He’s bound to get in fights with players and coaches; it is his destiny.  So let’s go through the list: Crazy star who will drag everyone down with him? Check.  Overpaid free agent signings who are likely to get injured?  Check.  A new stadium that is pricing out normal fans to the point where the stands will be half empty?  Check.  And an owner that is just waiting to jump down their throats if the team starts off rocky? Check.  Sounds like a recipe for a great year.

Final Prediction:  the Yankees will suffer though another year of missing the playoffs after both the Red Sox and the Rays trounce them, going 78-84.  On the bright side, they might do better that the Orioles.

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One Response to “Why They Are Going to Suck – Yankees Edition”

  1. Naarah Says:

    I know! What is the deal w/ Mr. A- Rod? I just feel so bad for him. It is like his world is crashing down upon him! I blame Madonna. Actually, after reading this, I agree, A-Rod is crazy and he is bringing Madonna down! I mean, look at her, she is collecting more kids and I think it is her way of coping with how much A-Rod sux!

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