Why They are Going to Suck – Rays Edition


If there is one foregone conclusion this season, it’s that the Tampa Bay Rays are going to be atrocious.   Fun Fact: their strongest and most ardent supporter is this guy:  dick-vitale2As you can see from Dickie V’s face, he’s already prepared for the heartache that is going to befall him this summer.  Mr. Vitale has been a season ticket holder since the Rays inaugural season in 1998, and has stuck with them through an incredible decade of horribleness.  From 1998-2007, not only did no team lose more games, but only six teams were within 100 losses of them.  Obviously, a winning tradition had been building at Tropicana Field; however, last year they broke through with their first winning season and a trip to the playoffs.  Way to go, I guess, but it’s not that hard to win when you have been stockpiling number one picks for ten years.  But good for them, every team deserves a break once in a while.

Unfortunately, it’s not going to continue this year.  Their manager, Joe Maddon,  is cleary either crazy or dumb.  I mean, just look at the team slogan he came up with last year: 9=8.  The man can’t even do simple math.  It supposedly refers to nine players playing together to make one of the eight playoffs spots, but I think the Rays are going need someone around that knows that 9 does actually equal 9.  It’s going to be hard to overcome his ineptitude for another full year.

Also, building any momentum for the year will be difficult with the weight of all the bandwagon fans still hanging on from last year.  Throughout their history, the Rays have had trouble drawing fans, and those that did come were mostly transplanted Redsox or Yankees fans that wanted to see some sort of baseball, no matter how awful it might be.  Last year, though, people kept coming out of the woodwork so that their ranks swelled to abnormal proportions.  Many fans tried to show their support by getting the ridiculous “Rayhawk.” rayhawk1Even a few female fans got the Rayhawk… only, they got them, you know, down there.  What are all these band-wagoners going to do when the Rays suck this year?  There’s no chance the Rays can keep up their winning ways.  I mean, they beat both Redsox and Yankees last year.  That has to be a fluke, right?  No one has done that in 10 years.  They have a few good players, like BJ Upton, Evan Longoria, Carlos Pena, Carl Crawford, Akinori Iwamura, James Shields and Scott Kazmir, but come on, that’s not enough to compete.

dropping-ballFinal Prediction:  This year the Rays will fall back to the dregges of the AL East, going 78-84 and, once again, stuggling to find fly balls.


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4 Responses to “Why They are Going to Suck – Rays Edition”

  1. Rays Index » Blog Archive » [THE HANGOVER] The One Where We Discuss Upton’s Pain-Free Shoulder, Pena’s Pain-Filled Pennant Run And Kazmir’s Pain-Inducing Slider Says:

    […] Many people smarter than us think the Rays are one of the 4 or 5 best teams in baseball. But at least one doofus thinks the Rays will be more like the 2007 Devil Rays this season, and predicts 78 wins. Any why? Because 9 does not equal 8 apparently. That’s right. Not a single baseball reason for their projection. Just a stereotype. [Stuff and Things] […]

  2. Copley Says:

    Well I have heard a lot of arguments about the rays struggling this year. Mostly by Boston or New York Fans. But, their argument was that their teams got better so therefore the Rays cannot do as well as they did last year. I can almost swallow that argument. Almost. I mean no one notices that the Rays got significantly better as well. But, this argument that they have a crazy manager and only a few good players is ridiculous. Oh, and way to provide some baseball arguments. You had to go after Joe Maddon (who by the way, is most definitely known as of the best baseball minds in the game) to try and cut down the Rays. Any good “baseball guy” would strike down your argument as just plain idiotic. Next time you are going to try and call the reigning AL Champions a fluke, try using some statistics and not a fan base and the manager. Just in case you didnt know, the manager and the fans, they dont play the game. Sweet job moron!

  3. Exposfan4ever Says:

    Funny how people get so butt hurt over something that was clearly a joke. It obviously wasn’t an actual projection of the team, but hey to each his own. If my team had won the AL last year I would be scouring any and all blogs that bash my team (regardless of context) and totally flip out about it. I mean I would want to lose all perspective to the point where I couldn’t notice an obvious lark.

  4. Naarah Says:

    Omg-this is so funny.
    “Even a few female fans got the Rayhawk… only, they got them, you know, down there.” Wow, a green Rayhawk “downtown” that sounds hot.
    BTW: “an incredible decade of horribleness” will be a phrase I will be implementing into my daily vernacular.

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