Dear Senor Baynes,
I am an older child (25) from a small village outside the city of Seattle. I have enjoyed watching you play for the last few years and as a die-hard Cougar fan I would like to thank you for your contributions, both to Washington State University and to college basketball. I have also been incredibly fortunate to be considered by my friends (also huge cougar fans) to be your doppelganger (or twin for those of you who aren’t familiar with the doppelganger concept). Along with watching your amazing skills, this fact has added great joy to my watching of Cougar hoops. I receive uplifting phone calls and or text messages whenever “I” (you) make a great play, and just to keep the universe balanced, mean texts or phone calls when you commit fouls…..99% of which are garbage calls…Basketball is a physical game….if you weren’t meant to play rough they would have called it Letsholdhandsanddancearoundinafieldofflowersball. The reason for my correspondence (It’s a big word, I learned it at WSU…..Bella la Cougs) is to ask a favor: When an NBA team undoubtedly picks you up, I will be the first one running out to purchase your jersey (please no Oklahoma City Thunder…they suck and their unis are UGLY), but presently this is not an option. So my goal has become getting my hands on a game worn Aaron Baynes Washington State University Cougars basketball jersey, both to commemorate the amazing run of cougar hoops in the last few years and to remember this oddity that is our twinsy-ness that my friends find so amazing. I realize the second reason is intrinsically creepy and stalker-ish, but I assure you I am a somewhat normal (normalcy greatly exaggerated) human being. I mean, I’m a rabid cougar fan, so let’s just say I am as normal as possible as far as Cougar fans go. I am not asking for a handout, but as it turns out your jersey is a piece of Cougwear that is hard to come by. Trust me – I scoured the ebays and the Amazons, and all the entirety of the interwebs. I was hoping you could point me in the right direction as to how one might go about acquiring a genuine, game worn Aaron Baynes jersey. Price is not an issue, unless of course it’s ludicrously expensive….dude, I’m not made of money…..though if I was I would totally use the money that makes up my being to buy it….even if it meant I would no longer have my left arm that was made of $100 bills. So I am asking you – as a fellow Coug and a fellow “movie star good looks” having guy – please tell me how to nab your jersey….it would mean a lot to a group of your biggest fans and lifelong Cougs.