Don’t Wake the Sleeping Giant….RArrrrr




Oh man, it’s been so long……It’s one of those things where life gets all crazy and what you love sometimes suffers as a result. But no longer!!! I am not a slave to the business man (thanks Josh Brown). Feeling like a grizzly bear fresh off a nice hibernation session, I am ready to terrorize national parks and steal picnic baskets. So much has happened in the world of sports recently (most of which will be treated as if it never happened)… incident that must be mentioned (because if I didn’t my buddy, an Arizona grad, would be very upset) is the thuggish play of University of Houston guard Aubrey Coleman. In the 96-90 overtime loss to Arizona, Coleman decided he would play “foot to head…head to ground” with Chase Budinger. Budinger or, “the great white hope”, made a “gritty” play taking a charge near midcourt….which clearly upset Coleman enough to smush a dude’s face.  Coleman, who has flip flopped many times on his reasoning, has settled with the ol’ “I noticed a small fire on the side of his head and so I decided to put it out with my shoe” excuse. University of Houston coach, Tom Penders, lauds Coleman as a “hero” and believes Aubrey “face blaster” Coleman (as he is now known) should be credited with saving Budinger’s life. In spite of the last few sentences being totally made up by our crack team of fake investigative investigators, the whole incident was still garbage. Coleman was seen laughing and getting high fives (people still do that?) from teammates after he was ejected. This alone should warrant at least a five game suspension but, instead the school has suspended the Cougars’ second leading scorer for a single game so he can be back in time for the team’s game at Memphis on the 31st of January. Me-thinks Tom Penders has looked at his teams schedule, perhaps. I, for one, am ok with this move by the UH athletic department… long as it is paired with a Chase-Budinger-free-junk-shot on both Coleman and Penders. I mean if Coleman means that much to your team, coach, you should be willing to wear a kick to the groin to have him play. The whole thing is ridiculous and if it wasn’t coming from the University of Houston I am sure the national sports media would be up in arms about this…..Like, say if James Harden pulled a Coleman on stupid smelly Jon Brockman you know the pac-10 is going to come down hard on that (even if I would love to see Brockman have his face stepped on). This is total speculation but I couldn’t see anything less than a 3 game suspension handed down by the school and possibly even more by the conference….And Harden is arguably the best player in the conference on one of the best teams in said conference. Ahhhh but things work differently in Conference USA……and most especially at the University of Houston. It is a university well known for loose morals and shady cheater types in leadership roles (see University of Houston Football circa 1988). In conclusion, like most good wannabe journalists with no sort of formal training or even classes taken down at the local YMCA I must end with an epic closing that restates the thesis of my entire post….So, I’m back, the University of Houston is a garbage school with trashy athletics, Tom Penders should be kicked in the crotch, and I want to see Jon Brockman have his face squished…..that is all.




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