Well America’s fattest city, you stole our team and I am sure you are all hootin’ an hollerin’, shooting your guns into the air and eating Crisco right out of the tub in celebration. Before you fly too far off the pan-handle though, I figured it is my duty to inform you of some of the “assets” you are acquiring along with the franchise itself. These may seem like small beans to you as you have just won your first NBA Franchise……..hold on, a vegetable analogy may not be the right way to explain something to you guys, so for you Oklahoma City readers….These may seem like small bacon wrapped jelly donuts to you… ……but you have swiped yourself some real sweet basketball talent. I urge you to ride your horses down to the Ford Center and see all the glory that is Luke Ridinour running a professional basketball team…also electricity and running water (country bumpkins)…….It’s just beautiful. Also make sure you take time to get to know the “Bakersfield Bad Boy” Bob Swift’s game as it is flawless. I don’t want to get your collective hoops hopes up too high, but anything short of a championship next year should be a disappointment worthy of not showing up to games anymore. No team in the NBA is as solid throughout its lineup and, as far as star power, your team is epic. Big names like Johan Petro, Mickael Gelebale, Mo Sene, and Earl “The Human Turnover” Watson (don’t be fooled by his nickname, he is “awesome”) are all-star caliber players (in the WNBA….maybe). Enjoy the top tier hoops and I can’t wait to see your attendance totals in 3 years….I am sure they will be well below the league average…….horse travel is getting expensive these days.
Yeehaw, Saddle Up, and Ya’ll Don’t Come Back Now Ya Here?