Yeehaw, Saddle Up, and Ya’ll Don’t Come Back Now Ya Here?

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Well America’s fattest city, you stole our team and I am sure you are all hootin’ an hollerin’, shooting your guns into the air and eating Crisco right out of the tub in celebration. Before you fly too far off the pan-handle though, I figured it is my duty to inform you of some of the “assets” you are acquiring along with the franchise itself. These may seem like small beans to you as you have just won your first NBA Franchise……..hold on, a vegetable analogy may not be the right way to explain something to you guys, so for you Oklahoma City readers….These may seem like small bacon wrapped jelly donuts to you… ……but you have swiped yourself some real sweet basketball talent. I urge you to ride your horses down to the Ford Center and see all the glory that is Luke Ridinour running a professional basketball team…also electricity and running water (country bumpkins)…….It’s just beautiful. Also make sure you take time to get to know the “Bakersfield Bad Boy” Bob Swift’s game as it is flawless. I don’t want to get your collective hoops hopes up too high, but anything short of a championship next year should be a disappointment worthy of not showing up to games anymore. No team in the NBA is as solid throughout its lineup and, as far as star power, your team is epic. Big names like Johan Petro, Mickael Gelebale, Mo Sene, and Earl “The Human Turnover” Watson (don’t be fooled by his nickname, he is “awesome”) are all-star caliber players (in the WNBA….maybe). Enjoy the top tier hoops and I can’t wait to see your attendance totals in 3 years….I am sure they will be well below the league average…….horse travel is getting expensive these days.

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4 Responses to “Yeehaw, Saddle Up, and Ya’ll Don’t Come Back Now Ya Here?”

  1. soonerschooner39 Says:

    Whatever, dude. You have no idea what you’re talking about. We both know that Petro and Swift are headed for breakout seasons. After all, look how hardcore Swift has become! Anybody with that many tattoos has to be tougher than a bull’s backside (a common phrase used by us “country bumpkins”, a-hole). And the African guy that OUR Sonics drafted is gonna tear it up in the NBA!

    And nice use of Rich Texan from “The Simpsons”, idiot. He’s from TEXAS! Ain’t nobody in the great state of Oklahoma who acts like that. But we’ll see who has the last laugh, you moron. You’ll keep crying over losing “your” team, and you’ll probably get stuck with some basement-dweller like the Hornets. Meanwhile, Clay Bennett’s genius nature will guide us to the top of the league. So suck on that, wuss!

  2. Old Gibbage Says:

    Indeed good sir, indeed. This article said it all except this; what major college football program lost to a D II football program known as Boise State in a BCS game? Oklahoma. And perhaps this was left out as well; when you have to come out and say that you are a major American city on the rise it can only mean one thing: You are definitely not a major American city on the rise. Hook em horns.

  3. dc3po Says:

    soonerschooner,

    I hope ALL the OKC fans are like you man! We’ll have our team back in no time!!!
    Are they really feeding you propaganda about Swift and Petro? That’s really sad to hear man.

    “African guy”? Are you serious? Really?

  4. Buford Coltrain Says:

    To soonerschooner39:

    Well you have proven yourself to be a bona fide dumb ass now I reckon. How can you saw that Oklahoma aint (is “aint” redneck enough for ya?) Texas? We all know that it is really called North Texas so slap that sauce on your brisquet. One more thing…The Hornets are hardly basement dwellers there Ace. Perhaps you should have “Pa” go out to the barn and put a fixin on that there TV antenner (for normal people I am referring to an antennae, they used them waaaaaaaaay back in the day) so you can watch some TV and see the almost made it to the conference finals. Also, where are your seats? I can only assume you’re a season ticket holder, right? Or do the not pay you enough at the Co-Op you stupid hick!

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