An Interview With the Boy Who Hit the Unhittable

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                     The effects of Jon Lester’s no hitter have been widespread, and to gauge those effects in the sports world we secured former baseball superstar, all around neat guy, and self proclaimed Huguenot (whatever that is) Pete “Pillow Hands” Jendro, who torched Lester in a High School baseball game……here is that interview.

 

(JackEliiotsMustache) What are the details surrounding your face off with Jon Lester?

(Pillow Hands) I was a senior outfielder for Gig Harbor and Lester was a sophomore pitcher for Bellarmine Prep.

 

(JEM) As a person who has gotten a hit or hits off Lester what was your reaction to his no hitter?

 

(PH) I was happy for the kid…how do you not root for an individual who had to battle cancer?

 

(JEM) What was the most memorable part of getting hits off Lester? And, at the time, did you know someday he would overcome cancer and throw a no hitter? If so…how did facing a future cancer survivor affect your at bat?

 

(PH) Getting on base…yes I did in fact know that he would eventually have to overcome cancer but I didn’t think it would be my place to tell him…that is Gods duty.

 

(JEM) Do you feel like you could still get a hit off Lester? And if so, had you been playing for the Royals Monday, night would you have broken up his no hitter?

 

(PH) No I do not think that I could get a hit off of him but I could bunt and that is how I would have ruined the mans no hitter…then I would have stole all three bases to score and win the game 1-0.

 

(JEM) If you could change anything about your at bats against Lester what would it be?

 

(PH) I would turn all of my at bats into homeruns where the outfielder got just close enough to the ball to run into the fence like Aaron Rowand…but not catch it!

 

(JEM) Are you entertaining offers from any teams? Has your phone been ringing off the hook?

 

(PH) I am in talks with the Montreal Expos every single day…they think I can be the face of their franchise moving forward.

 

(JEM) If reached for comment what would Lester say about your guys’ match up which you so clearly dominated?

 

(PH) Lester would ask who the hell I was…and who you were.

 

(JEM) What kind of opportunities have materialized for you since your recent fame as the “boy who hit off the un-hittable”?

 

(PH) I have my own line of underwear that says “I can hit that!”

(JEM) Have you thought about making the rounds at card shows and memorabilia signings? If so do you have anything you want to plug?

 

(PH) I haven’t done any card shows and no I don’t have anything that I want to PLUG…seriously?

 

(JEM) You have been quoted as saying you “absolutely lit up that piece of junk pitcher Jon Lester whom I own”? Any comments?

 

(PH) I think those comments speak for themselves…and if they don’t then eat $%&*

 

(JEM) At what point were your Major League dreams derailed and have you attempted a come back since the Lester no hitter?

 

(PH) My major league dreams derailed when I graduated from high school and met people like you…but that’s coo I make five figures!

 

(JEM) Pick the statement that best reflects your feelings towards Jon Lester….”I experience male crush dude fantasies about him on a regular basis….like at least 3 times a week” or “He makes me feel like I am the only person in the world that matters to him and that is why someday I hope the state of Washington will allow us to finally be married”?

 

(PH) Neither one of those comments…stop trying to make me gay!

 

(JEM) Thanks for your time and good luck in your future endeavors

 

So here is to hoping another former local star has great success so we can find people who were better than them in High School so we can exploit that!!

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