Down Goes Reyes!


             In event that could be incredibly damaging to the New York Mets, Jose Reyes Bobblehead was seriously injured late Tuesday afternoon in a Bellevue, Washington cubicle. Reyes, in a similar situation to a lot of athletes in the past, was a victim of being in wrong place at the wrong time. A representative from the MLBBPA (Major League Baseball Bobblehead Players Association) has released a statement saying “the incident occurred around 3:15 PST, Mr. Reyes Bobblehead was hanging out on the bookshelf with Raul Ibanez Collector Coin and Jamie Moyer Signed Visor when a barrage of rubber bands began flying towards the three”. Though most collectibles know to avoid the bookshelf, or as residents of the Cubicle call it, “the Crime Zone”, both Ibanez Collector Coin and Jamie Moyer Signed Visor dove for cover but Jose Reyes Bobblehead was not as lucky. He was struck by a heavy duty rubber band in the head which caused him to stumble and fall off the ledge of the bookshelf. The prognosis is not good as Jose Reyes Bobbleheads legs were both severed around the ankle. Doctors immediately attempted to tape and glue Reyes’ legs back together but to no avail. A spokesman for the team said “Jose may never bobble again; we ask that your thoughts and prayers are with his family”. The Mets have placed Reyes Bobblehead on the 90 day DL. This could be devastating to the Mets and the Bookshelfs chances with his most likely replacement being Richie Sexson Bobblehead (great). Neither Raul Ibanez Collector Coin nor Jamie Moyer Signed Visor were available for comment.



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6 Responses to “Down Goes Reyes!”

  1. steelisreal Says:

    Thank you much for this! I nearly spit the water I was drinking at my monitor reading it.

  2. Totally Anonymous Says:

    Perhaps my Dwight Shrute Bobblehead will reside in the same cemetary as Mr. Reyes. Mr. Shrute met a similar fate when he fell from the top of a cube wall to the file cabinet below. A painful scene awaited me when I pushed by the clumsy coworker who had bumped the wall to find my glass half full, always nodding friend brutally decapitated. He was still nodding, and I like to think that he always will be…

  3. pplantenberg Says:

    The Bookshelfs could be in real trouble this year. Hopefully, nothing will befall Jamie Moyer Signed Visor. It would be devastating to lose his sun blocking ability.

  4. JackElliotsMustache Says:

    I have heard they have alot of Memorobilia in the Pen of Moyer Signed Visor Gets hurt. They have Jessie Orosco Signed Ball and Eric Hanson Rookie Card just in case.

  5. JackElliotsMustache Says:

    IF……IF Moyer Signed Visor gets Hurt…damnit… better than that

  6. Old Gibbage Says:

    I will say it now for all to hear: A one B Richard Sexson will be the player to lead the Mariners to the post season this year. His bat will be back baby!!! Neither him, nor his bobblehead should be spoken of in a disrespectful manner. All the Big Sexy haters will drift off into hiding around June without admitting the errors of their thinking. As for now, here is one giant Bobby Hill kick in the groin to those of you who boo a hometown guy.

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